What if this one love can last forever?

One soggy Thursday afternoon, a man decapitated the woman he loved.

Then he wrote a suicide note with details of how unfavorable “earthly” conditions were for their full-bloom love.

“We are going to the afterlife,” he declared.

“Where there is no limit to what we can do.”

End.

Then he made a suspension of fertilizer in a dirty container (because, what did it matter?). The fertilizer, the farm manager had always insisted must be kept far far away from the vegetables (must be lethal, right?). It smelled like piss, so he had to pinch his nose. It had to go down either way. He even swallowed the pellets at the bottom that refused to be part of it. But he awoke to the beeping sounds of machines, the overpowering smell of urea in his breath and cold, hard metal restricting his hands and legs. No! Not now when he had somewhere to go!

You see, there are people who walk this earth with so much love around them. Too much in fact. So much more than they want or ask for. Too much, that they don’t need it. Too much, that they fill their cups, let it overflow, drizzle down the sides of the table and form rivulets, then the rivulets become torrents that flow in the street carrying dirt and crap into the sewer lines with sewage. Then they decide they didn’t want it after all. So they pour it out and go for the other flavour.

But those who don’t have that luxury, love fiercely. Passionately, madly, until one day that madness becomes an idea.

“What if……what if we never get weary, we never get old, then……….. then this one love can last forever.”

Bridelope

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As I walk towards

my tomorrow, I see the sands of time

sifted through the screen of age,

Clarified like layers of mud from Wigwa

Then I tossed the chaff against the wind

I am beaded to a T, I am a bride

for a man I know little about

I wonder what it would be like to walk to the others

If in their hands it would be just as uncertain?

Maybe my children should have been dark-skinned;

like Odhiambo. Tall like Lenana, or coarse-voiced like Maina.

Or perhaps light-skinned like the insides of a ripe mango.

But I truly hope before we share the bull’s heart

scorched over acacia’s wood. That this uncertain future,

That this forever, is too long to sift

Breaking up

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In the days building up to the event I had been feeling blue. And black. And grey. And green. And….. In fact, I don’t know what I had been feeling. There were days I wanted to ride a camel through the streets. Smack in the middle of town. All day. On the tarmac. Wearing a turban. At par with the garbage trucks. Perhaps my camel would stop to sniff or bite a partly rotting cabbage from the truck. Do camels even eat cabbage? Would my camel have to stop in traffic jams too? Then vehicles and people would be dwarfed as if they were bowing. My subjects. And I would be stately, like a monarch on a high throne stepping on tiger hide. Yes, because I could taste approaching freedom.Yes, everyone would stop to stare. Yes, with admiration. At this free girl!

On the day we broke up, he did it on the phone. Like a coward. Like a chicken thief running away from a mob. I expected it. I just didn’t expect his voice to be shrill like when a girl is telling wooing tales. Or the call to be short as if 3 years can be compressed into 30-seconds. Or the time to be 7:08 p.m as if I was not meant to sleep that night. Or that he would be the one to make the call I should have made. I shouldn’t have wanted to be humane. I should have been ruthless. I should have yanked that rope so hard that it snapped mightily. I shouldn’t have thought; “Over coffee, with explanation, and apology. Perhaps with a goodbye gift?”

Stupid diplomacy! Stupid procrastination!

So, it hurt.